She just felt like she needed to insult me. There are also people who like to think this phobia says something about modern society, but the truth is that it seems to have always been around. Very true but unfortunately that’s why I don’t love again. Show him that you want to do it for him, you want to know it because you want to help and not only for yourself. I know my biggest fear is that I’m going to end up with someone exactly like my oldest brother who is married with children but never without a girlfriend on the side. What could you do differently? Either my dad was beating me up or my mom because they were not happy with their marriage. Nowadays, it seems to me, love, relationships and evaluation of these are barely based on reasonability and functionality but on sexuality and concentrated subjectivity and some kind of “emotionalism” (in fact hedonism -> lust-oriented attitude of life) rendering the own emotions, the desire, want and need as the most valuable thing in life or more important than all the consequences. I think I am philophobic but possibly a different type. But at the end of every day I have to get back into my bed, and roll back and forth for three or four hours, wondering why no one loves me and wishing I had someone to talk to. But we have to keep the faith, because without faith, we have nothing. I am only 20 and I am here currently battling this Phobia and I’m wondering now if I even want to anymore. I breathed heavily with the door locked, staying in there for half an hour. 1. I’m 17 and I’ve heard people tell me that “I’m too young” and such but, as much as I am young, I’m not blind. So, not only did I break the contact of him, I never went back to church to avoid anyone that connects me to him and I’m not going to church anymore. For the last 2 months we have argued often and every time he notices that we will never live together because of me. The word originates from Greek “filos,” which means ‘loving or beloved.’ Individuals who have this phobia fear romantic love or forming emotional attachments of any sort. It’s typically the result of childhood trauma or neglect. I just ended up leaving their home for good at 15 or 16. Being in love with a person is almost like having an open space in your heart. It has been derived from Greek word gamos meaning marriage. Your email address will not be published. Although you won’t find it in the traditional dictionary, there is an unofficial name for the phobia (severe anxiety or fear) of wolves that many people have – it is called Lupophobia. It’s human nature to not want to do things again from past experiences, but you must look past it and move on. Parents too. Fear that someone else might commit a violent crime using one of your possessions. Most women nowadays are very difficult to meet for many of us serious single guys really looking, since most women have so many high unrealistic expectations and standards that they never had back in the past. It’s so upsetting that I am hurt like this because not enough people are aware of the seriousness of philophobia and how it can affect a person’s life. I’ve been involved with two guys, and guess what, after admitting that both likes me, they were still afraid to commit to a relationship. Neville basically says that you control the people around you with your thoughts. It bothers me, but I dont talk about it anymore, because everyone brushes me off saying I’m being dramatic or pining or “one day, a nice man will sweep you off your feet.” They dont realize that no, I wont allow it and no, every ounce if their reassurances further cements my chosen, now involuntary, path. These are all experiences I have suffered with and I’d like to know if any other philophobia sufferers can relate to any of them. I felt like crying in front of him but I told myself not to. I couldn’t forget about him. Maybe for this kind of problem, a real psychologist could help out well. I feel so horrible because now he’s so upset. I think I might have philophobia. I do wish I could be in relationships like everyone else one day, but until I get therapy, I wish to deal with a lot of it on my own. I dont mind the pain of being left its the thought that they will want to stay with me that scares me. Later that day it came back to me and it hit me very very hard. I’m told they’re not all like that. Everything was going well till I found out that my friend and my crush were officially dating. Because when people read your post they think its true. I think that I can never have anyone in my life. I am too afraid of being emotionally attached to anyone. Let him tell you his whole story. I keep telling him i just want to be his friend but deep inside i really don’t know what i want. I tried dating a guy who kinda liked me to get a bit used to affection but ended up getting anxious and it got worse when I tried dating a guy who really loved me. Another meaning of thanatophobia is the fear of death, i.e. I am hurting them and myself to. Hell, I am a virgin! I’ve tried 10 gals, non lasted for more than 3 weeks. It’s a heavy investment that pretty much no-one wants to walk away from unless it’s just not going to work. I STRONGLY believe my past experiences, severe fears, anxiety and phobias block the ability to allow myself to Love, BE loved or show complete commitment. To some people who love getting or being married, this phobia might seem like an excuse. Enjoy the next 10 or more years to figure out who you are, what you want to do and what you want in life before settling down on one idea of how life should be. You’re 12 now, probably. And perhaps, once you recognize that you are loved— by family, friends, and sometimes complete strangers— you will find a partner who loves you enough to be your best friend, your confidante, and maybe your spouse. disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED), Tips for supporting someone with philophobia, 13 Daily Hacks for Someone with Social Anxiety, Unhappy Birthday: How I Conquered the Birthday Blues. I used to be very philophobic. I therefore grew jealous and paranoid, i need help seriously or am i stuck here for life. When I was very little I was raped by my half brother. Saying we don’t need to do this is like saying we don’t need to eat, or drink or sleep. At this point I realize that the guy I liked broke me so much to the point where I can’t fall in love. … At that moment I didn’t think too much about him since he wasn’t the only new student. As stated before, many cultures and religions prohibit romantic love or term relationships between man and women as illicit under certain circumstances. I can’t be like that so it’s in my best interest to never show or give love to another ever again. “They do not have to be prisons by which we confine ourselves,” Dehorty said. At the start of all my relationships, I feel so much fear that I cry. My reason being the fact that I don’t actually have one. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I used to think that talking to people about my problems made me weak but actually, it just shows that I am human and that it is fine to be human. This is what true friendship is about. The fear of speaking in public. I’m only happy when I’m home, the door is shut, the phone is turned off, and no woman can contact me or bother me. Then there’s the opening up to people part. There are many ways of overcoming the fear of falling in love phobia. But then he started messaging me saying that he was sorry for everything and that he still had feelings for me and that he wasn’t going out with my friend and like an idiot I fell again. They divorced when I was 4. This is because a common symptom of any phobia is anticipatory anxiety, which causes increasing fear in the time leading up to a planned confrontation with the object of fear… I meet up with him and told him that i can’t be with him so i’m ending the relationship, i’m better off alone. The Genesis is that I got heartbroken by someone I’ve loved unconditionally for half a decade, busy making plans and working hard to build a family with. As time went on my feelings became stronger. This is a crappy phobia to have when you actually want love and to have that special person in your life. My son knows his dad but does not get the time he deserves from him. Encourage them to seek help if it seems appropriate, and help them find that help. Then, the one best friend that i had for 2 years that i had a crush on left because she was moving away to Indiana, and in school i have no friends and i get bullied… so i kinda understand why i have this fear…. It’s like men don’t have the same feelings or something, like women are more delicate, well reality check, we’re not, men are just as weak, just don’t like to show or admit it unless 10p% necessary. Fear of the Potential of Being Hurt. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Individuals who suffer from this phobia fear romantic love or forming emotional attachments of any sort. In fact it simply wouldn’t work out since those people are found attractive by other men who know how to achieve their affair (the danger of psychological tricks is real unfortunately). Its origin is the Greek word thanato, which means death and phobia, which means fear. Because of my culture. I never told my family about this issue and I just keep things to myself. DSED makes it difficult for people with the disorder to form deep, meaningful connections to others. I’ve been like that, but this time around (depression comes in cycles for me) I find myself extremely, irrationality angry and impatient all. This is what happens with me as well! I have the feeling, I don’t or can’t need relationships, it’s superfluous. One because the last one he had ended up in a big mess and the second he believed so much in the hook up culture. Even talking with girls get difficult for me. I might become like her.. and have no one that truly loves me, or that I truly love.. and it’s scary, it really is, because me and my girlfriend have nearly been dating for half a year, and I’m just scared because we have our whole lives planned out together, and we have a pretty stable relationship, but I just don’t know. The fear of love (or falling in love) phobia is known as Philophobia. I always had a normal life. Well my story is like yours, but a little different. I am afraid of loving someone whom I do not have a concrete guarantee would love me nonstop, or I too would be like that. Also maybe find out what you want to be as the person you are. I believe that I have this phobia because when I was in the military for over 10 years I lost many good friends and I just grew accustomed to pushing people away when they would try to get close because I didn’t want to feel the hurt when they were snatched from life right in front of me and now 30 years later in life I still push anybody away that tries to get close. If it’s due to the phobia, fine, but then again, it’s logical too. I just distinctly remember never having a family like everyone else I had seen. Tomophobia, the extreme fear of invasive medical procedures, can keep you from seeking lifesaving medical care. I just feel empty and hollow. I was rejected by girls till now. I want to get married one day, but how can I if I get so apprehensive about dating? And I have no idea how this started. So the fear of being single and alone is very real for many of us guys, unlike in the past when love really did come very easy. 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